The Great Hall made a good base, as Jez had suspected it would; the fact that it was used by both House Elves and people, candles lit in it every night, had staved off the creatures that otherwise would have their dwelling there. Not to say it wasn't a hunting ground for the same reasons, as Jez was sure that it was, but as the Hall was mostly intact, she was easily able to cover the entrances and exits with wards. Staying in it was practical; she wouldn't have to fight her way there and back, or risk getting stuck in a remote part of the castle, and she was liable to encounter everybody the Hat had coerced into returning, sooner or later. After the second night, she had felt secure enough to put her tent up in the corner, upgrading from the environmental immediacy of the sleeping bag to the detachment of the magical tent. The wards would keep out any beasties, and warn her if something stronger tried to get in. Meanwhile, she could spend her days exploring the halls and doing what she had been brought back to Hogwarts to do: get rid of homicidal monsters. Given the size of the castle and the number of creatures in one corridor alone, this was a job that she would not complete overnight. Jez had every faith that she would complete it, however. With a safe base camp to operate from, all she needed was time. A part of her - quite a large part, in fact - was looking forward to it. She lived for this kind of thing. Danger was not her middle name - that being Marie - but it might as well have been. Right now, she was sitting cross-legged on her camp bed in the tent, her field notebook open on her knee, ballpoint pen (nobody used quills in EAST, that was one of the first rules) in hand as she shuffled through the pages. Every monster she'd ever faced was listed therein, along with the method of its death or, in rare instances when it had not been executed, defeat. Since encountering and decapitating the Typhon on the grounds, Jez had decided to reacquaint herself with some of the rarer, darker creatures from her past. The Hat hadn't prepared her for the possibility of an endangered monster from Greece, so she would prepare herself for any monster possible, no matter how improbable.
She was reading an almost illegible entry about taking down a Manticore four years ago - they were resistant to magic; she and her squad had eventually hacked it apart while at the same time trying not to get gouged, eaten or stung to death - when a sudden glow filled the tent and made her start. Dropping the book to grab her wand, she relaxed slightly when the blue-white shimmer resolved itself into a weasel Patronus, which darted excitedly around the linoleum floor of the tent. Jez leapt to her feet and ran to the tiny bathroom, where an enchanted mirror hung on cracked tile next to the cramped shower. At first, only her reflection stared back at her, but a few moments later, an upside-down face swam into view. It was a young wizard with a pointed red goatee, his blue eyes narrrow until they saw Jez, when they opened wide and - with a rather nauseating spin - the head turned around to face her the right way up. She knew he'd turned only the compact mirror around, but it was a disquieting thing to witness, as though his head wasn't attached to his neck.
"Hiya, boss," he said, his voice as clear as if he were beside her. "Where in Merlin's trousers have you been? I've tried Flooing, owling--"
Jez told herself not to get annoyed, but she wasn't listening. "You sent an emergency signal because you couldn't get ahold of me? You sent owls? Houdini, what the fuck are you pl--" -aying at, she was going to say, but Agent Quentin was eager to tell her.
"It's Blackbeard." His expression shifted from sheepish to sad.
The tent grew cold. "Dead?"
"No, boss." The ginger man tried to smile. "They got his other eye, boss. Dunno what we're gonna call him now. Know any blind pirates?"
Down by her side, Jez's hands curled into fists. Oh, Archibald. The grizzled old bear had lost his right eye during the Fall of Hogwarts, but it had barely slowed him down. The squad had always joked that he'd keep going until they took his other one. Not so funny, now. "How?" she demanded, sadness quietly rotting into anger. Archibald had been with Jez since she had set the squad up eight years ago.
Now Houdini looked solemn, even grim. "It was a bicorn, boss."
For a heartbeat, Jez just stared. Then, gathering herself, she said, flatly, "No." Blackbeard could slay a bicorn in his sleep. He was her second-in-command, and he would not be blinded by a bloody bicorn.
Quentin shook his head, sadly. "I know, boss, but it's true. He was on a hunt with WEST." Now he avoided her gaze, which was starting to resemble a thermic lance.
"What?" Jez hissed, fury sweeping up in waves. "They sent my second out with those fucking amateurs?" Amateurs who despised her team and always had. Amateurs who would not stick their necks out for a member of The Amazon Squad.
The man in the mirror rubbed his forehead, tiredly. "They were supposed to be chasing down some leads on Silverlance," he said, and Jez was incensed all over again that a mission that important had been given to those useless wankers. "Blackbeard volunteered for the attachment. I... don't have any details on exactly what happened, boss." For a few seconds, the two agents stared at one another in silence. Quentin was lying; he was very good at it, but as lying was part of his profession, Jez had gotten very good at spotting it. Now, why would he be lying about what happened? Because whatever happened would make her go spare, of course, and since going spare at WEST was perfectly normal, it must be something that would make her furious with Archibald. And what might that be? she thought, absently running her fingers across the scar on her face. If he had done something categorically stupid - such as...
"Houdini. If Blackbeard lost his eye because he was protecting one of those fucking morons, I will be forced to kill him."
The wizard smiled, wanly. "I know, boss."
"I don't want to have to kill him, Houdini."
"Understood, boss. It's a shame we'll never know what happened," he added, in a meaningful way. And although this was an answer to the unspoken question, Jez left it there. Archibald didn't need to have his arse chewed out over something that he undoubtedly regretted - or should do, his eye being a lot more valuable than the self-important TOSSERS in the Wizarding Elite Strike Team (they'd even stolen from her squad name, useless bastards). Bowing her head a little, she thought about what needed to happen next. First off, the squad was honourbound to send a little gift to their wounded comrade.
Quentin was obviously thinking along the same lines. "He's in with the Healers for the foreseeable- or, um, indefinitely. We're doing a whip-round for his retirement bonus."
"Put me down for thirty galleons," Jez said, wishing she could afford more. She couldn't afford that, technically, but she'd make it work. "And... a pair of sunglasses."
The ginger wizard laughed, looking more relaxed than he had since the conversation began. "He'll appreciate that, boss."
"Tell him I'll be along sooner or later," Jez said with a twinge of guilt. "I'm on a Priority One Solo. In the meanwhile, congratulations on your promotion."
Quentin's good humour vanished. "What? Boss, I -- the Duke is --"
"Too old."
"Swift is --"
"Too young."
It was a mark of his panic that the agent even ventured the last squad member's name. "Horntail --"
Jez snorted, rudely. "Horntail says he was named for the dragon, but he was actually named for being a sleazy little pervert." An excellent agent, or Jez would never have recruited him for her Elite Assault Strike Team, but not promotional material. Anyone conversing with him quickly felt the urgent need to shower. "All his missions would end up in a strip club. Or a brothel."
Silent now, Houdini - whose ability to get out of incarceration was legendary - tried unsuccessfully to hide his anxious expression.
"Look," Jez said, kindly, wanting to call him by his given name but bound by security protocol, "I wouldn't give you this if you couldn't own it, so wind your fucking neck in, right?"
"Right, boss. Sorry, boss."
"We're an agent short, so track down Scary Mary and tell the interrogation team we're taking her back for a while. Any likely-looking recruits on the list?"
Glumly, Houdini shook his head. "Swift was the only one who passed last time."
Jez sighed, rubbing her arm and trying to master her frustration. Petra - Agent Swift for her uncanny speed - was still being trained by the Duke. Her squad wasn't up to scratch right now, and taking on another trainee - one who couldn't even pass the recruitment trial - would be a further drag on their quality. "Then tell Scary Mary she's with us until further notice, on my direct order. And run another open trial the minute you can; maybe they'll have improved."
"Yes, boss."
That appeared to cover it, at least on the squad leader's end of things. "Anything else, Houdini?"
Unhappily, the agent shook his head. "No, boss. Just..."
"Go on, then." She could be patient with her squad, sometimes.
"Just worried, boss. There's no ETA on your mission-end?"
Part of her was a little bit touched. Houdini knew better than to worry about her safety - none of her squad worried about her, she was proud to say - but he wanted her back with the team, and that was nice. Even if it was at least partly due to his reluctance to be promoted. She treated him to a small, lopsided smile. "No. I'll check in with you at midnight every two days, okay?"
"Yes, boss. Thanks, boss."
Jez waved a hand, dismissively. "Keep them out of trouble, Houdini."
The ginger man gave a resolute nod, and a moment later her reflection was staring back at her, looking a little more empty than before.
Damn it, Archibald.
She was reading an almost illegible entry about taking down a Manticore four years ago - they were resistant to magic; she and her squad had eventually hacked it apart while at the same time trying not to get gouged, eaten or stung to death - when a sudden glow filled the tent and made her start. Dropping the book to grab her wand, she relaxed slightly when the blue-white shimmer resolved itself into a weasel Patronus, which darted excitedly around the linoleum floor of the tent. Jez leapt to her feet and ran to the tiny bathroom, where an enchanted mirror hung on cracked tile next to the cramped shower. At first, only her reflection stared back at her, but a few moments later, an upside-down face swam into view. It was a young wizard with a pointed red goatee, his blue eyes narrrow until they saw Jez, when they opened wide and - with a rather nauseating spin - the head turned around to face her the right way up. She knew he'd turned only the compact mirror around, but it was a disquieting thing to witness, as though his head wasn't attached to his neck.
"Hiya, boss," he said, his voice as clear as if he were beside her. "Where in Merlin's trousers have you been? I've tried Flooing, owling--"
Jez told herself not to get annoyed, but she wasn't listening. "You sent an emergency signal because you couldn't get ahold of me? You sent owls? Houdini, what the fuck are you pl--" -aying at, she was going to say, but Agent Quentin was eager to tell her.
"It's Blackbeard." His expression shifted from sheepish to sad.
The tent grew cold. "Dead?"
"No, boss." The ginger man tried to smile. "They got his other eye, boss. Dunno what we're gonna call him now. Know any blind pirates?"
Down by her side, Jez's hands curled into fists. Oh, Archibald. The grizzled old bear had lost his right eye during the Fall of Hogwarts, but it had barely slowed him down. The squad had always joked that he'd keep going until they took his other one. Not so funny, now. "How?" she demanded, sadness quietly rotting into anger. Archibald had been with Jez since she had set the squad up eight years ago.
Now Houdini looked solemn, even grim. "It was a bicorn, boss."
For a heartbeat, Jez just stared. Then, gathering herself, she said, flatly, "No." Blackbeard could slay a bicorn in his sleep. He was her second-in-command, and he would not be blinded by a bloody bicorn.
Quentin shook his head, sadly. "I know, boss, but it's true. He was on a hunt with WEST." Now he avoided her gaze, which was starting to resemble a thermic lance.
"What?" Jez hissed, fury sweeping up in waves. "They sent my second out with those fucking amateurs?" Amateurs who despised her team and always had. Amateurs who would not stick their necks out for a member of The Amazon Squad.
The man in the mirror rubbed his forehead, tiredly. "They were supposed to be chasing down some leads on Silverlance," he said, and Jez was incensed all over again that a mission that important had been given to those useless wankers. "Blackbeard volunteered for the attachment. I... don't have any details on exactly what happened, boss." For a few seconds, the two agents stared at one another in silence. Quentin was lying; he was very good at it, but as lying was part of his profession, Jez had gotten very good at spotting it. Now, why would he be lying about what happened? Because whatever happened would make her go spare, of course, and since going spare at WEST was perfectly normal, it must be something that would make her furious with Archibald. And what might that be? she thought, absently running her fingers across the scar on her face. If he had done something categorically stupid - such as...
"Houdini. If Blackbeard lost his eye because he was protecting one of those fucking morons, I will be forced to kill him."
The wizard smiled, wanly. "I know, boss."
"I don't want to have to kill him, Houdini."
"Understood, boss. It's a shame we'll never know what happened," he added, in a meaningful way. And although this was an answer to the unspoken question, Jez left it there. Archibald didn't need to have his arse chewed out over something that he undoubtedly regretted - or should do, his eye being a lot more valuable than the self-important TOSSERS in the Wizarding Elite Strike Team (they'd even stolen from her squad name, useless bastards). Bowing her head a little, she thought about what needed to happen next. First off, the squad was honourbound to send a little gift to their wounded comrade.
Quentin was obviously thinking along the same lines. "He's in with the Healers for the foreseeable- or, um, indefinitely. We're doing a whip-round for his retirement bonus."
"Put me down for thirty galleons," Jez said, wishing she could afford more. She couldn't afford that, technically, but she'd make it work. "And... a pair of sunglasses."
The ginger wizard laughed, looking more relaxed than he had since the conversation began. "He'll appreciate that, boss."
"Tell him I'll be along sooner or later," Jez said with a twinge of guilt. "I'm on a Priority One Solo. In the meanwhile, congratulations on your promotion."
Quentin's good humour vanished. "What? Boss, I -- the Duke is --"
"Too old."
"Swift is --"
"Too young."
It was a mark of his panic that the agent even ventured the last squad member's name. "Horntail --"
Jez snorted, rudely. "Horntail says he was named for the dragon, but he was actually named for being a sleazy little pervert." An excellent agent, or Jez would never have recruited him for her Elite Assault Strike Team, but not promotional material. Anyone conversing with him quickly felt the urgent need to shower. "All his missions would end up in a strip club. Or a brothel."
Silent now, Houdini - whose ability to get out of incarceration was legendary - tried unsuccessfully to hide his anxious expression.
"Look," Jez said, kindly, wanting to call him by his given name but bound by security protocol, "I wouldn't give you this if you couldn't own it, so wind your fucking neck in, right?"
"Right, boss. Sorry, boss."
"We're an agent short, so track down Scary Mary and tell the interrogation team we're taking her back for a while. Any likely-looking recruits on the list?"
Glumly, Houdini shook his head. "Swift was the only one who passed last time."
Jez sighed, rubbing her arm and trying to master her frustration. Petra - Agent Swift for her uncanny speed - was still being trained by the Duke. Her squad wasn't up to scratch right now, and taking on another trainee - one who couldn't even pass the recruitment trial - would be a further drag on their quality. "Then tell Scary Mary she's with us until further notice, on my direct order. And run another open trial the minute you can; maybe they'll have improved."
"Yes, boss."
That appeared to cover it, at least on the squad leader's end of things. "Anything else, Houdini?"
Unhappily, the agent shook his head. "No, boss. Just..."
"Go on, then." She could be patient with her squad, sometimes.
"Just worried, boss. There's no ETA on your mission-end?"
Part of her was a little bit touched. Houdini knew better than to worry about her safety - none of her squad worried about her, she was proud to say - but he wanted her back with the team, and that was nice. Even if it was at least partly due to his reluctance to be promoted. She treated him to a small, lopsided smile. "No. I'll check in with you at midnight every two days, okay?"
"Yes, boss. Thanks, boss."
Jez waved a hand, dismissively. "Keep them out of trouble, Houdini."
The ginger man gave a resolute nod, and a moment later her reflection was staring back at her, looking a little more empty than before.
Damn it, Archibald.
