The Hat was never too bothered about propriety and manners. Being a Hat, he had little use for them, and his magical logic generally dictated that political correctness and trying to skirt around an issue wasted more time than it needed to. He had been designed to look into people's heads and that's what he did, even though now he was not trying to Sort them into Houses so much as he was trying to see if they would be good for the school. That didn't mean he could not see Jez's inherent Puff-ness, her staunch and perhaps detrimental loyalty, which coincidentally also made her an incredible ally for the school.

Not, of course, that he was going to tell her that. She may not be saying it out loud, but he could see her assessment of him as a HAT, and he didn't like the tone of that thought.

Ah, he thought, though, the next instant, realising she would need a bit more pushing to go back to the scene of her worst memory. His first attempt to goad her worked as anticipated, mostly.

“First of all, stay out of my brain. It’s where I keep all my stuff.”

"Not a lot of stuff, it seems," he responded, as kindly as she had spoken. Anger - quite dark and red, almost violent - rose up and he could see her calming herself down. "Uncontrollable anger and outbursts are linked with strokes and heart attacks, did you know?" He wasn't even trying to goad her at this point, just sharing some of what he had learned in TEN LONG YEARS OF HAVING NO ONE TO SPEAK TO. "Anger is usually emotional overload and means that something in your life needs deeper examination."

“What I do is none of your business.”

"And Hats feels angry too, you know," he added.

“Let the monsters have Hogwarts. Maybe they’ll starve. Why don’t you go find one of the bazillion other mourners, eh? Get them to give you a lift home or whatever.”


"I don't need someone to give me a lift home," said the Hat, shrugging, though he had to admit an enchanted scarf may have managed that a lot better. "I have a Flying Machine, though he ... or she, maybe? I've never checked. It doesn't have much of a consciousness and is terrible company. And do not," he added, smartly, and perhaps a bit too wisely, "imagine that you are the only person I've sought out. Something dark is coming to Hogwarts and the school wants some of its old students back. You, I imagine, for your loyalty, though you seem to be avoiding that a bit."